Kanika: Poet. Lover of Words. One who tells the stories of the mundane and inanimate. Bearer of Light, Water, and Sky.
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This day, two years ago I woke up to about 10 missed calls and that feeling you get when something is wrong. I replay that morning a lot. It is the reason why I spent the first few months of 2014 in a moderate depression where I went from sleeping a lot to very little. In the beginning, I just wanted the days to pass quickly. And then, I could not seem to quiet my mind. I was in a semi-functioning state of shock and grief. Only one friend really knew what I was going through. I am a very solitary person when it comes to my emotions. It was hard on me because Spirit gave me a very vivid and prophetic dream the previous night. I woke out of my sleep and prayed so hard. I prayed and prayed and prayed. Then, it's like I feel into a deep sleep. One that causes you to miss 10 calls when the phone is right by your ear in the bed. There is nothing quite like having to fly home for a funeral. It is quite possibly, the longest flight of your life despite the noted duration of the flight. It was not until I sat down and aired my grievances on paper in the form of a letter to my beloved that my spirit found peace. He later visited me in a dream, smiling, laughing, and happy. It was the confirmation that I needed that his soul was at rest and I would be ok. I promised to always think of him in present tense because energy is neither created or destroyed. It was an agreement that seemed to satisfy us both.
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